If you are married or in a relationship and have always been excited by the thought of swinging but don’t know how to introduce the idea to your partner then you will be interested in this information. I’m not a huge fan of swinging unless you REALLY think it through, you communicate brilliantly and you are doing it to ADD to your relationship – not to FIX it!
So if you’re looking at swinging for what I consider the right reasons, enhancing and expanding your mutual sexual experiences – read on!
I was recently introduced to the following e-book and I found it an AMAZING resource for anyone considering swinging. If you do the steps outlined in it, you will absolutely have a better intimate relationship. You may in fact decide swinging is not in the cards for you, but you’re sex life will be greatly improved regardless! OR you may get both of you really excited and embark on an exciting new adventure. Stay tuned since I’m going to interview a man who recently took his wife on this little journey.
There are a few things you need to consider to engage in swinging successfully with your partner: the quality of your communication, your intimacy level and your sexual chemistry. After reading this and applying the information you should find your partner much more receptive to the idea. If you wish to jump ahead right away go here: http://sexcoachks.tywias69.hop.clickbank.net/
First,to be successful at swinging requires an unusually high degree of communication and trust in your relationship. Swinging is not a replacement for your relationship, it should be an enhancement (if it becomes a replacement you are headed for trouble). You need to find ways to deepen your communication. The most effective way to do this is to think about what is important to your partner. What are their values? If you know what is important to them you can communicate in ways that are meaningful to them. For instance, if your partner is the sort of person who is cautious you need to acknowledge that in your activities together. Don’t surprise him or her with a bungy jump on your anniversary! The book outlines wonderful exercises to help you determine values. I use similar processes in my intiamcy coaching work so if you are aligned with the work I am doing, you will enjoy the book.
Once you are communicating in ways that make your partner feel more heard the next step is to increase the amount of intimacy in your relationship. This is something that for many couples fades over time. Now is the time to reactivate your intimacy! You can start this in small ways. Think back to the beginning of your relationship. What were some of the things that you did together that were very intimate and which your partner seemed to really enjoy? It might have only been a kiss on the neck or holding her hand in a certain way. Perhaps you spoke to him/her in a specific tone of voice or used specific words. Try to remember these and to reintroduce them into your relationship.
With increased intimacy will come more sexual chemistry. This is where the two of you can start to get adventurous. If your partner feels loved by you – and is made to feel that there is nothing you would do to harm them – then exploring sexual fantasies such as involving others becomes a real possibility. Start things slowly. Perhaps plan a visit to a nude beach or resort (there are many of these around the world). Even just begin to introduce talk about some of your fantasies (in a very low key way). Judge his/her reaction! And if you’ve read my book, Great Sex for Hard Times, you’ll recall that I suggest going to an adult club together and selecting a girl for a lap dance to test the waters first.
The chances are your partner may also have thought about swinging as something to try. However, even with a partner who does not appear particularly sexual, by introducing better communication, greater intimacy and more sexual chemistry in loving ways you may be surprised at the positive response you get. We are all sexual beings and for many couples swinging is simply a way of adding more spice and love to their own relationship. You can think of it as having live sexual accessories.
If you are serious or even a little curious about becoming a swinger with your partner and would like some very specific tools and suggestions on how to introduce it into your relationship in a loving and respectful way visit http://sexcoachks.tywias69.hop.clickbank.net/
As a Sex & Intimacy Coach, I really love the approach in the book. I was skeptical at first since this is a delicate subject to discuss well and Michael pulled it off wonderfully! Yes, I do get a small affiliate fee if you purchase the book and I also know if you do get it, you will absolutely be thrilled with the results if you start applying the techniques. They are ‘golden’ regardless of whether you end up swinging or not!
Enjoy!
If you want things to be different in your bedroom, if you are tired of frustration and dissatisfaction, and you want to feel more fulfilled, call me to set up a complimentary consultation. Maybe you need some one-on-one private coaching, maybe an online group program or perhaps I can recommend a great book or other resource. Isn’t it about time?
Hi, I just read your article and you were right on the money with a lot of it. My situation. ..my wife and I have been married for over 10 yrs now and our sex life has been great the whole time. My wife actually was the aggressor in the beginning and introduced me too sex with dildo’s, sexy outfits, restrsints and other things. Were always on the same page when having sex and playing.we play with her realistic dildo like were having an mmf. We both get really into it. I started having thoughts of sharing her. I started looking looking online where she found one of the sites. I told her my fantasy…she was a little taken back , she was having an issue of why…why if I lover her so much I would want that. I explained it was about seeing her completely satisfied and center of attention enjoying herself. Just having sexual fun. WE talked and she said to me I never did tell you no to anything sexual but was not sure about this. I think she is worried if it would mess up our relationship.i just dont no where to go from here.how do I make her confident in doing something like this. I was thinking possibly trying a swingers club. But I dont know how to bring that up. Thanks for listening
Mike
I would recommend some coaching to sort out the situation, Mike. As suggested in the article, the program is a good way to start and will also open up conversation. You want to ensure that you are both comfortable – that is a must. Sometimes fantasies are better left as fantasies too.
We have been married 20+ years, like to know how to tell if my wife would be intersted in swinging. just don’t know how to approch her with it. Love her verry much, don’t want any problems. think it would be good for us and her for sure. i have a problem with ED. i know that is hard on her ,even she won’t admit it.need advice. thanks
It can be a simple casual conversation when you are both relaxed. You can perhaps watch a movie about couples who want to explore (a comedy like Hall Pass) is a light way to introduce the topic. And I do encourage you to check out the product mentioned above. This is a huge topic and I can’t cover everything about it in a blog post. Consider my idea of “testing” the idea by going to an exotic dance bar and see what happens from there. Good luck!
Talked about swinging with my wife and every time I do during sex she gets excited sexually, wondering how I can convince her as she obviously feels nice
Hi,
Often these fantasies of swinging are best to remain as fantasies since the real thing can be not only complicated to to arrange, but it quite often does not go exactly as you’d planned and there can be emotional fallout afterwards. I suggest you enjoy the turn-on factor and leave it at that. If you want to explore deeper, chat with her outside the bedroom and see if she really does want to try it. Believe her if she says she just likes the idea of it, but doesn’t really want to do it in real life. Fantasies do feel nice, but as fantasies.
If she wants to explore, check out the link above for information on how to bring swinging into your relationship.
I was known as The Golden Unicorn to my friends in the lifestyle. I miss my couples incredibly since getting with my fiancée. We both have had some very adventurous sexual encounters prior to getting together. He knows about me being in the lifestyle. His sex drive is insatiable while mine has calmed down significantly since menopause hit but reliving my best moments at house parties, sexy, hot couples is what makes me ‘get off’ when playing my toys to please him. I told him that I wanted to go to an intimacy retreat to help us learn how to get that same energy in our bedroom. However, I’m not at all opposed to us exploring the lifestyle together. But I’m not sure how he’d take to sharing me…